My Greatest Weapon

It's difficult knowing where to begin. I promised to update this blog regularly, and I am going to make good on that promise. This is not exactly how I planned to begin, however. I am currently sitting alone (because, you know, COVID) in the Emergency Department waiting for a CT scan to help us figure out why I am having abdominal pain. Of course, given my recent health history, this does not come without frustration or concern. Get Behind Me, Satan!

Once again, I turn to God and confess every healing scripture that comes to mind. I praise God for His goodness and mercy in every situation. I will sing for joy when my heart is heavy. I choose joy. Sometimes we have no other choice. Sure, I'm disappointed that I am here, but I have to remember to choose joy always, in all circumstances. 

I will soon rewind a bit and fill in the details that have brought me to this current point in time. Right now I am listing to some good Tauren Wells on Spotify while I wait for the CT results. Can I just say that IV contrast is the strangest thing?!?! If you have never had this pleasure, imagine lying on a solid table, flat on your back in a sexy hospital gown, with your arms raised above your head. Saline is flushed through the IV in your arm (which leaves a metal taste in your mouth). Then, contrast flows through your veins making them feel like they just drank some hot broth or something. Ears, head, hands, throat and then pelvis, all super warm from the inside... but I don't want to leave out the best part of all - the sensation of peeing your pants! Yes, there is no other way to explain it, and it's such a unique sensation when you are NOT peeing at all. The entire process is very fast and probably takes 2 minutes from start to finish, but A LOT happens in that short time. Enlightening, right? Haha!

I don't pretend to understand why I'm in this current situation. I miss my family. I wish my husband could be here with me, making jokes and holding my hand. I miss my mom & dad. I know my mom would be here in an instant if she could. In the waiting I will trust God and praise Him again and again. 

(It's 12:30AM, so give me grace here) :-)

His presence is my greatest weapon! 

Time to rest,

Steph